My little brother

Today is my little brother’s heavenly birthday. He would have been 32. He died when he was 29. I don’t know all of the details because the people that I trusted were not there. The only facts that I know is that he was at his girlfriend’s house and the father of her child came over and he shot and killed my little brother.

I still remember that night. I was at home and I literally just got off the phone with my best friend. He was telling me about a situation and we had a heart-to-heart conversation pretty much like all of our conversations. I got off the phone and started to go to sleep. I got a call from my other little brother (just to context, I am the oldest of my siblings and we have different mothers) but I didn’t answer in time. Then I immediately got a call from my father. I instantly felt like something was wrong. I answered the phone and my heart broke into a million pieces when my dad told me my little brother Lil Fred was dead. I am a very emotional person. I cried right away when I am sad. He told me that he had to call everybody because he was there at the scene,

I called my little brother Leon back and we were in shock. I talked to my little sister and pretty much all of my siblings. Needless to say, I was not sleepy anymore. I stayed up all night calling family and I called my best friend back. He picked up my cousin and they stayed with me the rest of the night.

My daughter had her soccer game the very next day. I still took her because I didn’t know what else to do. I cried as she played. One of the other mothers came up to me because she saw me crying and asked if was I ok. I told her that I just lost my brother. She looked at me and asked if was he in a gang. I almost punched her in her face like bitch what the fuck do you mean? No, he was not a fucking gang!!! A black man gets shot and killed and the first thing someone thinks is was he in a gang? Did he deserve it? The answer is no! No, the fuck he did not. My little brother was a sweet person. He was funny and kind. He would go out of his way to make someone he loves smile.

When we were kids, we lived in the projects and I forgot the exact floor but from our window, we could see the Amtrak train. He would sit with me and listen to me tell him where I was going to take him when we got older. I had a wild imagination but he would smile and listen to me every single time. Since had a different mother, I had to leave him a lot. When I would leave he would cry and tell me that he wanted to go. I always told him that I would come back for him. It’s funny the things when remember after someone is gone.

On September 29, 2021, exactly one week before my 34th birthday, my first little brother died. There is not a day that I do not miss him. I wish that I had more time. I wish that he was with family instead of at his girlfriend’s house. I wish he wasn’t dating that girl at all. His last day on earth he spent with our siblings because we went into that house.

I think about that every year you are not here anymore.

Rest in heaven, I love you forever. My little brother, Fredrick Williams Jr.